So Anyways...

I'm back in Virginia Beach! This semester is going to be crazy and exciting. I have to take 15 credit hours, so the break is over. I have to write my senior thesis and I have not settled on a topic yet. Here are some options:

1. Micro finance as the future of economic development
2. The current revolutions in the middle east
3. Anglo-Russian relations
4. The current global order (or disorder)
5. Democratic realism and the support of democratic revolutions
6. Social justice and debt forgiveness
7. International energy security

I have more, but the point is to narrow them. I seem to be thinking of more and more. I need help!

On a less academic note, I am really enjoying meeting new students as an orientation leader! We are having some great times and I am really looking forward to the rest of the school year--my senior year! Regent really is an awesome place.

Busy, Busy, Busy

AAAHHH! I am so busy. But it is a good kind of busy. I always have something I can be doing. However, there are sometimes when I have to choose between something I want to do and something that I have to do. For example: Next week, I have a term paper due and I haven't written one sentence. Well, in my defense I have nearly completed the research process and I have pulled a lot of my quotes. But sometimes, there are far more interesting things to do than wright a paper that I know I can finish in one day anyway. Today, for example, I got to meet Conor Grennan, author of Little Princes. There was a group of about ten of us and we just talked. It was amazing! This man went to Nepal to volunteer and ended up starting an organization that has as its purpose reuniting trafficked children with their parents. How cool is that?

But I do know that I have to write that paper eventually...

Computer Virus

So sorry that I haven't been posting lately. My computer has a virus that will not allow me to go to blogger.com

I moved to VA Beach!! I love it! I joined several student organizations and I went on the Spring break mission trip. And I will be moving back home in six short weeks.

I don't think I'm going to backtrack with my posts. I think I'm just going to start from now.

So, I will be posting, but maybe only two times a week.

See ya!

Virginia Beach

First off: Sorry I haven't written in a long time.

Second: I went to Virginia Beach for a couple of days! It was awesome. I left home at about 8:00AM and got to Regent in time to go to chapel at 12:00PM. After chapel, I went on a campus tour and got to see all the beautiful buildings. Next, I went to hang out with my dear friend Abigail in the Commons! Then I went to another dear friend Tianna's house. Did I mention that it was COLD?!

On morning number two, I went to get myself some coffee and pick up some job applications (that was really good coffee!). The rest of the day consisted of filling out said applications and drinking coffee. At three, I went to meet my friend Juana at the Ordinary for eggnog lattes! Oh, yeah. I also managed to get lost on the way there, in the daylight, with a GPS. Anyhow, it was fun; Juana had another friend of mine with her when I got there! Did I mention that Regent is a very small world? After coffee, I went with Juana back to the Commons where we both did a little school while waiting to got to unChapel. UnChapel was AWESOME!!

Morning number three consisted of me going to get coffee, finishing my applications, dropping off my applications, and doing some school. After that, CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!!! I helped put Christmas lights on Tianna's house; well, I didn't help very much. But it was fun...and cold!! After that, I went to watch Tianna in her play; it was brilliantly executed! After that, the three and a half hour drive home, on which I managed to get lost again. But I made it home in one piece at about 12:30AM!

Moral of the story? Regent University ROCKS!

Prayer

Over the past couple of years, I have been struggling with prayer. It never seems that I can settle down and pray for a long period (or even a short period) of time without my mind wondering to something else. Before I know it, I am lost in thought that does not even resemble what I was praying about in the first place. Today, I was reading ahead in a book for next semester's spiritual formation class called The Life You've Always Wanted. I was just reading the chapter on prayer when I came across the following words: "It may well be that when your mind wanders, it is wandering to what your heart most needs to speak with God about". That was when I realized that I was not praying rightly. I have been praying about the things that I think that I should be praying about. C.S. Lewis said that in prayer we must "lay before Him what is in us, not what ought to be in us". My prayer life has just been revolutionized!

Baking Update

The fudge ended up being pretty good. Every time I make fudge it seems like I do not enjoy it, though. So I pondered the question: Why do I never like the fudge that I make? Then I remembered that I have never really liked fudge in the first place!

As for the "truffles", that is a whole other story. I began by mixing the inner truffle. I peeled off all the royal blue Dove chocolate wrappers and melted the contents with some light cream and vanilla. After the filling was smooth as silk, I poured it onto the wax papered baking sheet and threw it in the frig to cool and harden. Next, I melted the semi-sweet chocolate for the coating.

I must note that the recipe CLEARLY stated that I was to leave the filling in the frig for 30 minutes. I left them in for an hour, just for good measure. When I took the filling out of the frig and tried to roll it into a ball, I immediately realized that it just wasnt't going to work. But being the culunary opptimist that I am, I decided to try. I rolled the first section into a little ball and threw it into the pot of hot semi-sweet chocolate.

Of course, the filling started to melt as soon as I put it in the coating. I took it out as fast as I could and threw it in the freezer (which the recipe did not call for). To make a long story short, after all was said and done, I had a sheet full of brown pancakes. It was very sad...

I had a great Thanksgiving, though!

Tis the Season...to Make Fudge!

My latest quest into the previously undiscovered world of baking is that of the perfect recipe for chocolate fudge. Today I realized that I have only one short month until that most joyous of days: Christmas! This year, I decided to get out of the habit of buying everyone gift cards and consumer products. I want to do something for everyone that I have to pour myself into. In other words, I want to give people the one thing that no one has enough of: time. In fact, this is the main reason that I decided to try the recipe for truffles a couple of months ago. But hey! Who needs a good reason to bake truffles? The recipe turned out to be absolutely delicious! But I have my worries about the truffles melting a little and bleeding through the confectioner's sugar coating. So, I found a new recipe that I will be trying tonight that has a hard chocolate coating, as well as a new recipe for fudge that I have only just finished and put in the frig to set.

Here is a picture of the mixture before I poured it!

The Little Things

I love the sound of the wind blowing through the leaves just as they are about to fall to the ground.

I love the way a poem can make my feelings fly with eagles, even when I don't understand everything it implies.

I love hot tea and a copy of the Norton Anthology of Poetry on a cold day.

A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:
Its lovliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.


~John Keats

When Nothing Else Matters

Have you ever had one of those days that you feel so stressed and so overwhelmed that you are suffocating under the pressure. You feel like someone is literally holding your head under the water and you simply cannot breath. There is no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel--the tunnel goes on forever. In my experience, there is no imaginable pain that the body can feel that outweighs the pain of a mental assault. You pray over and over for God to take it way...or for Him to take you away.

I have been there many times over the past several months and, unfortunately, I still get to that point from time to time. However, I don't stay in that place as long as I once did. There was a time when I would stay in this dark and frightening world for days at a time; only sleep would give me a short escape--a time to catch my breath. Every time I entered into this darkness, I would ask God over and over: why are you letting we go through this? Why wont You just take away the struggle and the torment?

I still do not fully understand the answer to those questions; however, I am at a place now where I can pray away the bad feelings and thoughts. How have I done this? Well, I have not done anything. God has given me the grace that I need to get through a time in my life that is not meant to be easy--a time in my life when God is using the mental turmoil that I am facing to show me that He is the only one who can calm the storm in me. How can we truly know the power of God unless we feel it in our own lives? How can I tell someone who is going through a hard time that God is with them when I have not felt His presence in my hard times?

How did I reach this point? The darkness grew darker, the storm grew stronger, and there was no breath left in my lungs. I didn't even want to go on living my tortured existence. So I gave up. I got to the point where nothing else mattered but God. I just said, "God, I surrender. You win". That day, I felt that I was finally at peace, that I had died. And I felt that I was more awake to the presence of God. It is the single most invigorating sensation to be at peace in the presence of God. It felt exactly like George MacDonald's poem:

Thy fishes breathe but where thy waters roll;

Thy birds fly but within thy airy sea;

My soul breathes only in thy infinite soul;

I breathe, I think, I love, I live but thee.

Oh, breath, oh, sink--O Love, live into me.

Days Four and Five

Day four is a haze. The first place we went was the Bronx to help with the Relief Bus. Each of us did several different things throughout the day. We talked to people, prayed with people and handed out soup and bread. Again, it was fascinating just to hear the stories of the different people that came through. After we left the Relief Bus, we all went to minister to children at a shelter. These children were so very sweet and they had such a good time as we all made paper airplanes and talked.

That night, we all went to the Brooklyn Tabernacle for a prayer meeting. Can I just say that it was absolutely amazing (I say that a lot, don't I?)! The worship was powerful as was the prayer near the end. After that, we went to Junior's for some powerful cheesecake!

The day after, we had free time to see the city. I went with the group going to China Town and Little Italy. We had a great time shopping (haggling) and eating Italian food. Then came the long drive home. It was the experience of a lifetime, not just because of the things we did, but because of the brothers and sisters I met. It was amazing seeing what God can do through people when they surrender to His will.

Day Three; or, It's Only Been Two Days?!

The day started with me waking up at 5:30 AM for kitchen ministry. I don't know why, but I thought someone had woken me up, so I got up, got dressed, and was ready to go down stairs when I looked at my cell and realized I did not have to be down for another hour. So I went back to bed and was woken again at a quarter after six by a fellow team member. Unfortunately, I went back to sleep again and was ten minutes late for work. I was devastated and felt terrible, but I moved on with the rest of the day, a day full of surprises.

The first thing we did after breakfast was get in the van to go to cerebral palsy outreach; or so we thought. Where we ended up was a community garden. Why were we there? To sift through fertilizer, of course! It was actually a lot of fun. I had a great time doing this because it reminded me of when I used to clean stalls for our horses.

When we went back to NYSUM, some us took a nap (myself included). Next we started planning our service for the Bowery Mission Chapel. I, for one, did not know that we would be leading a service, so I was somewhat nervous. But, as was the case with absolutely every activity we undertook, my nerves were put at ease as soon as we got there and after seeing my fully competent teammates in action. The service went relatively smoothly for something that had been planned an hour before.

One of the main things that struck me about this day was that it seemed to me that I had known each of my teammates for weeks. I was amazed how close we had all become. I also became aware that the time passed by rather slowly. I even referred to something we had done only that morning as what we had done "yesterday"! It really seemed to me that we had been there for a week already!

Day Two; Or, Bright Lights

Today we saw the city. It was my first time walking the streets of New York and I was really looking forward to it. The purpose of the walk was to pray for the city. We teamed up and started walking the Brooklyn Bridge two by two. When we got to the midpoint of the bridge, the group came together and we prayed that God would brake the chains of the people in New York; we prayed especially for those women that are victims of the sex trade in the city.

To me, this prayer walk was significant because of the fact that, for the past several months, I had been thinking a lot about international sex trafficking and what I should do to fight it. I had been debating going to law school for the purpose of helping bring justice to those who buy and sell human beings for the purpose of sexual exploitation. This experience was a kind of confirmation for me.

Another reason this prayer walk was significant was the fact that Dr. Lyons had been teaching from Psalms 107 that very morning and the following words struck me: "He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and broke their chains in pieces" (Psalms 107:14 New King James Version). Those words became my prayer for the city, and this prayer was echoed by other members of the team as well.

In addition to the prayer walk and the visit to ground zero, we did what every person should do when they go to New York City: New York Pizza, baby! And boy was that stuff good! Oh, and I forgot to mention in the last post that the night before, after we reached out to the homeless, we went to a street vendor for kabobs. They were the best kabobs I have ever tasted, and that is no exaggeration!

That day we also went to the launch of Hillsong NYC! It was off the chain! First we waited in line for a while--the line was really long. But we got into the second service (the second of three, that is). The music was very loud, but after a while I got used to it. Even though I did not know the words to most of the songs, they were really easy to pick up. All in all, it was a great experience and I would not mind going back to that church if I were ever back in NYC. Did I mention that the lights were REALLY bright.

Those were not the only bright lights that we would see that night. After we left Hillsong NYC, we went out to Times Square. A lot of what we did is a blur to me right now, but I do remember going to a four (or was it five?) floor Forever 21. That was kinda interesting. Can I just say that I am so glad I did not bring my debit card for this one. I don't exactly remember, but I think we went back to NYSUM after that. That was a great day!

Day One; Or, The Journey Begins

I don’t know what my expectations were going into this mission trip; all I know is that I was in a place in my spiritual life that I did not like. I felt isolated and secluded, not to mention the fact that I was in a time of spiritual starvation. I needed a way out right now. As I was praying one night, I went on the Regent campus ministries web page to look for devotionals and for some way to connect with other Christians at Regent; I knew that there had to be something there.

Then I saw it: Fall Break Mission Trip. I knew immediately that I was supposed to go, so as soon as I found out that there were some spots left, I signed up. But as the time approached, I realized that I had finals and finishing touches for three classes that I would have to complete in four days. To make a long story short, I was very close to dropping out. But I will thank God every day that he gave me the strength to press through and go on the trip.

Let me just say that I had never been on campus before last week, so I did not know where everything was. My mother and I drove past the parking lot because we were expecting to see a lot of vans where I was supposed to be; but as it turned out, only two vans were going. So we drove back to the parking lot and I jumped out and asked the small group something like, “Are y’all leaving for the mission trip?”. Little did I know that this small group was going to be full of some of the best people I have ever met—but more on that later.

We started out around 9:00 AM; I was in the very back of Dr. Kidd’s van sitting next to a woman named Crystal. After some time driving, we had a conversation about things that I haven’t talk to anybody about in a long time. It felt amazing—and foreign—to be able to open up to a person that I had only known for the past thirty minutes. And that was only a taste of the friendships that would develop over those five short—or rather long—days.

When we reached our destination, we went straight in to unpack and get ready for orientation. First item on the agenda: reaching out to the homeless. I cannot fully describe in words what happened on Saturday night. (Did I mention that I have never been on a mission trip before?). Our team was charged with the task of passing out items such as blankets, toiletries, sandwiches, and prayer. I wish I could write about everyone we talked to that night, but alas, this post is already too long.

One man that three of us talked to was a Vietnam vet with PTSD. It was definitely a learning experience to listen to him speak. At first he did not want prayer, but after the three of us listen to him for about twenty minutes, he said that since we listened to him, he would listen to us. That night, I learned that missions are not all about giving people material things and preaching at them; it is about forming relationships and listening to people the way we want people to listen to us.

And…

“The Father Is Glori-fied!”

I'm Back!

Wow! That is the best word I can find to describe the past five days. I met so many amazing people and do so many amazing things that there is no way that I can write it all in one blog post. So here's the deal: I will recount one day of the trip every day (or every other day) for the next week. So be watching!

Oh. Yes I did survive finals! Not through my own power, but through God's.

The Next Ten Days...

This week, I have so much to do that for the first time in my life I actually think I may not get it all done in time. I have my final for Global Problems which consists of five essays, a separate twelve page paper for the same class, a final exam for my Christian Mind class, and several other smaller assignments. Even though all of these assignments are not due until Sunday, I have to have them done by Friday at 5:00pm because my mom and I have to start to VA Beach so I can catch the bus for the NYC mission trip! I am not normally one to complain about stuff that happens as a result of my own decisions, but this is just crazy.

Please pray for me, and don't expect any more blog posts for the next ten days. When I get back from NYC, I will write a very long and detailed post about finals and the mission trip--if I'm still alive, that is.

FIRE!!!

We had to burn a pile of brush and wood the size of a mobile home yesterday!! It was sooo much fun! My brother Eli started the fire like a pro. Here are some before and after pics:

Eli standing on the pile





FIRE!!

A Lovely Afternoon

It may seem strange, but I love quiet, peaceful, chilly afternoons in which I can read poetry and classics with a cup of hot coffee. Today was one such day. I did have a short essay to write, but I got it done by 2:00 PM. After I submitted the assignment, I went straight to the coffee maker to brew a fresh pot of liquid bliss. As the coffee was brewing, I worked on my Russian (I did lesson three for the THIRD time!). Then I poured my coffee and sat down for a two hour read in Natasha's Dance: A Cultural History of Russia. OK, so it's not exactly a classic, but it was very interesting. I love learning about the paradoxical nature of Russian culture in the 17Th and 18Th centuries. To many, this may seem like an extremely boring day, but I enjoyed it thoroughly!

Russian

I absolutely love the Russian language! I started to take Russian at the beginning of the summer and found that it was much harder a language than Arabic (the language I was dabbling in last year). I don't know why, but when I was studying Arabic, everything I learned seemed to stick to my mind a lot faster than French (the language I spent over a year studying and cant seem to remember at all!). In fact, I still remember all of the conversations that I learned in Arabic one year ago; strange, I know. The ease with which I can pick up on Arabic goes to show that I am not taking the easy way out with Russian; indeed, I find Russian to be harder than both Arabic and French put together! I'm serious! Some of the sounds that one has to make while speaking this beautiful language feel completely unnatural and alien. I have to do each lesson at least three times before I can fully grasp the content. But it is a labor of love, and all the mental blood, sweat and tears are worth it in the end.

I'm Alive!

I did live through the worst weekend of my life! God gave me victory! I got all of my papers done on time. However, I did not do as well on them as I would have liked; they are definitely not the best papers I have ever written. Oh, well. I will do better next time.

But I have some exiting news as well. I will be going on the fall mission trip to NYC! I cannot wait to see what God is doing up there and I cannot wait to be a part of it. I have never been on a mission trip in my life, but that will change in one month! I am very, very, very exited!!! Or could you tell this by seeing all the exclamation points?!

Also, tomorrow I will go to my practical politics class and submit an actual political survey with my team! I love this class! I am really hyped about politics in general, so I decided to refurbish my political blog that I quit posting on about a year ago. Check it out: http://www.donkeysbtrippin.blogspot.com. Yes, I came up with the name. I'm thinking about getting it copyrighted.

The Long Week that Just Got Longer

First of all, I claim complete responsibility for my bad memory.

This week has been absolutely crazy! I have had a whole lot more work hours and a whole lot more school than usual. I am behind on my research project, I have only exercised twice, I am not getting good sleep, and I started a new class last week. This is not so bad, as it goes; I can deal with everything I just listed. In fact, it almost feels like my new status quo. But something else happened on Tuesday. I was about to read what I thought was an article that I had to get done in order to write an eight page paper, but I found out that it was a book. I almost started hyperventilating because the paper in due this Sunday!

As it turns out, it is a very short book (only eighty something pages). I am almost done reading it, thank heaven. Also, I do not regret starting this new semester long class (Civitas Institute Academy of Practical Politics). In fact, it is one of the things that I look forward to every week. Last week we had a class on basic campaign structure, and yesterday, we had a lecture on opposition research from a partner in successful campaign research firm. Then we talked about polling and we were given the assignment of constructing our own poll (which will actually be executed!). Yesterday was amazing, and I can't wait until next week!

In the mean time, I will be typing three papers nonstop for the next three days.